


when we were young

by ineedashiro (madseli)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Background Krolivan, Canon Compliant, Endgame Sheith, Fix-It of Sorts, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, No Divorce and No Cheating, Past Relationship(s), Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 11:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madseli/pseuds/ineedashiro
Summary: I needed this to be written so I wrote it.This includes spoilers for Season 8.Once, after Keith turned fifty and it’d been decades since they entertained the idea of ever thinking of each other like that again, Shiro half carried Keith’s drunken ass home and Keith leaned close to him and told him, “I still love you, you know” so casually it was as if he were reporting on a side column he’d read out of the news that day and not a heartfelt confession that, when mixed with the familiar scent of him and the feel of him and the sound of his sweet laughter, became so intoxicating Shiro couldn’t think straight for weeks.But if Keith ever considered seducing Shiro and breaking apart his marriage, he never did.





	when we were young

It was ninety-nine Earth years since they lost Allura.

They still honored the day as a day of mourning, a day of remembrance, a day to be grateful for the peace that had since befallen the universe. Even when the paladins went their separate ways, they still came every year. For decades, it was a day that Shiro looked forward to, even if the memories brought back nightmares that tormented his nights and likely took years off his husband’s life just from the worry. 

Then they lost Hunk. 

They knew it would happen eventually. Compared to Alteans, Galrans, and so many others, the human lifespan was barely the blink of an eye. He had a good life. He was happy. The remaining paladins came together to mourn. 

Lance was next to go. His Altean marks didn’t make him Altean, and he aged and lived and died like a human. He, too, was happy. Keith cried at his funeral, and then became frustrated knowing that Lance would have teased him endlessly for it, and cried some more. 

Pidge died ten years after Lance, four years after Shiro’s husband. 

Something Shiro hadn’t been prepared for was the possibility that his clone body might not age, might not die. His hair had been silver since he was twenty-six but his body never changed, aside from losing muscle after years of enjoying retirement and rest. Hell, even Keith looked older than him now. He stopped aging around thirty-two. 

He stopped coming to the Remembrance Day celebrations after Pidge died. 

He was doing good work with the Blades, of course. And it had been decades, and he was tired of coming to Earth to be swamped with requests for pictures and autographs and even dates. 

He was a star a hundred years ago and he still burned just as brightly. Even brighter, maybe. The more time went by, the more his fame only seemed to grow. Lance used to joke that it was because he was the only cute paladin left, to which he dutifully defended Shiro. But Shiro was taken, and Keith had had a handful of relationships spanning the years before finally giving up trying to find someone he could dedicate as much of himself to as he dedicated to his work. 

Even Shiro didn’t make that cut. It was a conversation that replayed over and over in his head for weeks after it happened, and still popped up every now and then, at the worst moments possible.

_ “We want different things, Shiro,” Keith said, his voice cracking the way it always did when he was feeling too much and much too strongly. “We have to come to terms with that.”  _

_ “What do you want, Keith?” Shiro asked, “All I want is you.”  _

_ “That’s not true,” Keith said, “You want to settle down. You want a marriage, you want kids, you want peace and quiet and you deserve it. You deserve everything, Shiro.”  _

_ “You’re putting words in my mouth.” Shiro danced between sounding angry and hurt and desperate. “I never said -” _

_ “You didn’t have to.”  _

_ “What do you want, Keith?”  _

_ “Stop making this harder.” Keith’s voice was a near whisper.  _

_ “Was it supposed to be easy to leave me?” Shiro demanded, and regretted it when tears spilled over Keith’s cheeks. “Keith, please. What do you want?”  _

_ “Not this,” he said on a sob. “I want you and I’ll always want you. But I’ll never be happy with the life you want, and you’ll never be happy with the life I want.”  _

_ “I can change,” Shiro said.  _

_ “I would never ask you to.”  _

_ “Keith, please, there must be something.”  _

_ “There isn’t. And I’m so sorry for that.”  _

It wasn’t the end and he thanked the stars everyday for letting he and Keith keep in contact like nothing had ever broken between them. The ache never quite went away, and neither did the want, but Keith was right. Shiro wouldn’t have been happy working the way Keith did, and Keith would have grown restless with a life on Earth. 

Once, after Keith turned fifty and it’d been decades since they entertained the idea of ever thinking of each other like that again, Shiro half carried Keith’s drunken ass home and Keith leaned close to him and told him, “I still love you, you know” so casually it was as if he were reporting on a side column he’d read out of the news that day and not a heartfelt confession that, when mixed with the familiar scent of him and the feel of him and the sound of his sweet laughter, became so intoxicating Shiro couldn’t think straight for weeks. 

But if Keith ever considered seducing Shiro and breaking apart his marriage, he never did. 

Once upon a time the people around them would joke that Shiro was Keith’s guiding star, and that he would follow him anywhere. Shiro would’ve given anything for that to still be true. 

It had been years since Shiro saw Keith in person. He still called at least once a month, usually from some far off planet where he could hold the camera out for Shiro to see whatever he found to be the most beautiful that day. 

It wasn’t the same. 

Keith let Shiro know weeks in advance he wouldn’t be at the Remembrance Day celebration. So when an officer informed him that a Galra fighter landed at the Garrison, Shiro expected perhaps Kolivan and Krolia. 

Instead, he locked eyes on Keith from across great hall they’d built in the paladin’s honor, and time stopped. 

He was still so beautiful. 

A jaw that could cut, dark hair pulled back, galaxies in his eyes and still so damn fit. The man looked like he hadn’t missed a single workout over the past century. He put Shiro to shame. The scar that stretched over his cheek had faded over the years, but Shiro still felt a pang of guilt seeing it even now. 

Somehow they met each other in the middle of the room. Shiro wasn’t aware he’d moved, so lost in his own head that he didn’t notice. 

“Keith,” he said, “It’s so good to see you. You said you weren’t coming.” 

“It’s good to see you, too,” Keith said with a smile. “I was visiting Mom and Kolivan and realized how long it’s been. I hope it’s okay that I’m here.” 

“Okay?” Shiro said, and laughed. “Keith, you’re always welcome. You know that.” 

“That’s good to hear,” he said, scratching the back of his neck, “Because I’m gonna need a place to stay.” 

“I’ve got a spare bed,” Shiro said, and reached an arm to clasp his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “But first, come enjoy the dinner.” 

It was the best night Shiro’d had in years. 

It would be a lie to say he hadn’t missed this - the carefree company they shared when it was just the two of them, when there were no worries. Shiro couldn’t remember the last time they’d had that; for so many years they held themselves back for Shiro’s husband’s sake. Or for their own. Before that, their breakup made it too hard. 

And Keith - he still could make Shiro feel so at ease. Shiro couldn’t look away from him, not until he memorized the new laughter lines etched into his face and the way a single strand of hair stubbornly fell over his forehead no matter how many times he swiped it away and the color of his eyes. It was like seeing a vision of the life they could have had playing out before him. 

It was the first time in years he felt so young. 

At the end of the evening, they walked back to Shiro’s place and talked the whole way. So much had happened. There was a faction of Galra that kept voting for Keith in every election, despite his refusal to run. This year he almost won and was forced to publicly announce that he was flattered but the answer was still, for the hundredth time, no. 

Krolia and Kolivan were having another baby. It was still early, so they hadn’t announced it yet. It would be Keith’s second sibling. 

Zethrid was still the reigning Clear Day arm wrestling champ, and was still expecting Shiro to show up one of these years to challenge her. 

“I can’t believe it’s been so long,” Keith said as he flopped backward onto Shiro’s couch. Shiro handed him a beer and sat beside him. “There was a time I couldn’t have imagined being away from you for so long.” 

It was a confession Shiro was sure he meant in a friendly way. He tried to hide his sharp inhale by sipping his beer. “You’ve been busy. I get it.” 

“Yeah,” he frowned. “Always busy.” 

Shiro nudged him with his elbow. “Something on your mind?” 

“It’s nothing. Well, maybe it’s something.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

“C’mon, Keith.” Shiro scooted closer. “You can talk to me.” 

“It’s just…” He looked at Shiro, looked away, and sighed. “I’ve been busy for almost a hundred years, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Shiro said. He was keenly aware. 

“A hundred years ago I couldn’t imagine myself ever not being busy.” 

“I know.” 

“And the crazy thing is, that hasn’t changed, really. I still can’t imagine stopping. I mean, the work, I can stop. I think I’d like a break. But there’s so much universe to see. There isn’t a future I see for me where I’m not still going.” 

Shiro scooted away. “Ah.” 

Keith fixed him in a gaze. “And I still want you.” 

Shiro felt heat rising to his cheeks. “Keith…” 

“I know it’s not what you want. I’m not asking you for anything. Sometimes I just feel like I need to say it. Because the way we ended it, I always felt like you thought I didn’t want you. And that’s not true. I wanted you so much. I just… I wanted you to be happy more.” 

“Keith-” 

“I don’t even know why I’m saying so much. Guess all the drinks at the dinner hit me a little late there, huh? I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” 

“Keith.” The name was firm, and Keith turned to look at him in time for Shiro to lean and steal a kiss from his lips. 

“Shiro!” Keith jumped back in shock, eyes wide. “What are you-” 

“I’m not letting you talk for me this time. All those years ago, you weren’t wrong, Keith. We wouldn’t have been happy together. You made the right choice, no matter how much it hurt.” He took Keith’s face in his hands, fixing him in his gaze. “But things change. I’ve changed. It’s been damn near a century. I’ve been married and watched my husband grow old and die. I’ve done what I wanted to do. I had the life I wanted to have.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I’m ready to unsettle.” 

Keith’s eyes grew impossibly wider. “Shiro - are you sure?” 

“I still love you, Keith. I never stopped loving you. I was happy with Curtis, I was, and we had a wonderful life together, and I don’t regret a thing about it. But I never stopped missing you. I never stopped -” 

Before Shiro could finish, Keith set his beer down and pulled him into a hungry kiss. 

It was almost funny, the scramble between them to kiss and hold and touch. What had been off-limits for so many years was suddenly perfectly allowed and they couldn’t get enough. Shiro could get drunk from those kisses, from the taste he’d forgotten. 

“Shiro,” Keith said when they pulled apart, in that breathless way of his that always made Shiro’s knees weak. It was a feeling he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. “Shiro, are you… are you sure? You - you have a life here, and I - I don’t want to take you away from everything you’ve built.” 

Rather than answer right away, Shiro dragged him into another searing kiss. “Yes. I’m sure. There’s nothing I want more.” 

Tears sprang up into Keith’s beautiful eyes, and Shiro bent to kiss them away. “Okay,” Keith said, “Okay, we’re doing this.”

“I love you, Keith,” Shiro said. The words felt so right spilling from his lips he could feel the sting of emotion prickling in his own eyes. 

“I love you, Shiro,” Keith said, and they kissed like they were two young men again, fresh out of the war, still high on victory and humbled by loss and so, so in love that it blinded them to everything else. They kissed like they did the night the blue lion suddenly awoke, the first anniversary of Allura’s death and of their triumph and the only one they spent together.

Once upon a time it was said that Keith followed Shiro into the stars but the truth, as it turned out, was that it would always be the other way around.

In the morning Shiro packed a bag. Just one. They sent messages to their friends not to worry. He asked his neighbor to take care of his plants. They breached the atmosphere and fell into a sea of stars and Shiro felt the weight of a lifetime of loss lift from his shoulders. He buried a kiss in Keith’s hair and whispered sweet nothings the way he did when they were young.

**Author's Note:**

> I cope by writing canon compliant ways that my ship can still happen. 
> 
> Feel free to contact me at holdingoutforashiro on Tumblr or @i_need_a_shiro on Twitter. Sometimes I take prompts. Mostly I just cry a lot.


End file.
